Movie Death Match 2007 tuh 2008

I'm not gonna break this one down point by point, especially after Eric's great breakdown of Apoc last round. I will say this: For me, Lebowski has a better re-watchability factor. I love Apoc, but I might want to watch it once or twice more in my lifetime. Lebowski, I can watch once a year, at least. Lebowski wins, although it is sad that a movie with Tera Reid in it is in the final four.

Ghostbusters vs. Star Wars

This is Jeff's call. I defer to Jeff.

Seriously--go ahead, choose. I don't think I'm qualified to make this decision. Everything is just happening so fast.

1. Bottle Rocket v 3. Donnie Darko
After all this, I get to pick between Bottle Rocket and Donnie Fucko? 2 years of pick and wait, pick and wait, pick and wait, wait and wait, wait, wait, pick, wait, okay Dwight, here's what it comes down to... Bottle Fuckit and Stupid Darko? Well my balls have been sucked. Sucked hard.
Well... I'm not picking yet.
Wait... Wait.... Wait.....

Okay, seven picks left altogether, and everyone (except me) will get one of those picks.

Joe
1. The Big Lebowski v 30. Apocalypse Now

Dwight
1. Bottle Rocket v 3. Donnie Darko

Andy
2. Star Wars v 32. Ghostbusters

Karl
5. The Godfather v 7. Miller's Crossing

Eric picks between the Joe/Dwight winners, Lee between the Karl/Andy winners, and Joel gets the honored spot of ruining the tournament for everyone. Use of unrelated pictures and expletives are expecially encouraged at this point.

The Godfather (5) over Dazed and Confused (15)

Apparently the gods wanted me to have sole control over Dazed and Confused's fate, since this is the third time in the tournament that I have had to choose it or lose it. I have made staunch, nay, impassioned defenses of the film, mainly on the basis of a certain M. McConaughey. But how to compare Matthew "freshman girls always stay the same age" with Marlon "I'll make an offer he can't refuse" Brando? Perhaps the best angle is to pit Ben "Just kickin' it in blue-collar Southie" Affleck against James "I hope this doesn't offend you, but your brother is a cocksucker" Caan. Selection made.

How the hell do you choose between these movies? The hard part about the choice is that both movies leave you with exactly the same feeling after you finish watching them, and they both seem to have the exact same message about life. Since they are basically the same movie, I guess you just have to choose between the parts that serve exactly the same function, and then weigh the result to see which movie did a better job accomplishing the exact same artistic vision. I came up with the following parallel elements: Robert Duvall vs. Gene Hackman (crazy but stable characters who make hellish situations seem funny by being strong and/or impassive, and by forcing younger characters to do crazy things like surf in war zones or shoot at each other with beebees), Martin Shean vs. Luke Wilson and Owen Wilson (unstable crazy characters who almost kill themselves when they go insane), Harrison Ford vs. Danny Glover (boring supporting actors who make the movie seem more important because we think of them as famous people), Cambodian Heads on Spikes vs. Gweneth Paltro getting her finger chopped off (gratuitous violence that makes you flinch and then laugh because it looks so fake), Dennis Hopper vs. Bill Murray (guys we enjoy watching because we remember liking them in other movies, but who don't really add too much to the movie), Marlin Brando vs. Angelica Huston (people who scare the shit out of us), Playboy Bunnies in Vietnam vs. Litte Kids at a dog fight (absurd, eye-of-the storm type moments), and The Doors vs. Nick Drake (band choices for slow-motion, movie definining shots). Actually, the only difference between these movies is that one involved flawless editing from some of the most haphazard filming of all time while the other was so excessively coordinated that it looked like an outfit parents would choose for their kids on the first day of elementary school.

I can't really choose between any of the parallel elements listed above because I like all of them the exact same. So I've decided that it comes down to the planning and editing, which for me is just a choice between personality types. And since I've always related better to people who fly by the seat of their pants and then whip together what they can from what is leftover, and since there is something about Wes Anderson that makes me think he would be really annoying to work with, I guess I choose Apocalypse Now.

32. Ghostbusters v 5. The Mission

The Mission
“Deeply moving film that reminds us of the vitality of love, the miracle of grace, and the transforming power of acts of conscience.”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 64%

Ghostbusters
“One of a kind super comedy of ghosts & special effects.”
Rotten Tomatoes score: 93%

I gotta go with the odds on this one.

Just in case you're blanking on the URL of this blog even though it's your own damn website, and/or in case you have started using Google search for, like, EVERYTHING, like finding socks and stuff:

"movie death match" doesn't get you here on the first page of Google results. "movie death match andy jeff" does, though.

If you want number one result, you're gonna have to do "movie death match stupidjoe" or "movie death match dwight".

1. Bottle Rocket v 12. Twelve Monkeys

Did anyone else notice that Twelve Monkeys is a twelve seed? Well, was a twelve seed. Seemed pretty fitting while it lasted. I actually find Bottle Rocket to be really funny. I'm not even sure if this next comment is true, and I'm pretty sure someone else has made this joke before, but I'm pretty sure Twelve Monkeys didn't even have any monkeys in it at all, let alone twelve. You know what was a funny movie with a monkey in it? Ed. That's probably not true, either.

Sorry Milla. Your force is not as primal.

1. The Big Lebowski v 22. Jaws
It's good to see that we're so determined to finish this.
I'm gonna say The Big Lebowski wins this one. Jaws? More like... uhhhh.... hmm.. Flaws! I really want a Coen Brothers movie to win. And The Big Lebowski was my favorite.

Dwight
1. The Big Lebowski v 22. Jaws

Me
32. Ghostbusters v 5. The Mission

Joe
1. Bottle Rocket v 12. Twelve Monkeys

Eric
30. Apocalypse Now v 2. The Royal Tennenbaums

Joel
2. Star Wars v 13. The Last Waltz

Lee
5. The Godfather v 15. Dazed and Confused

Karl
27. The Fifth Element v 7. Miller's Crossing

Andy
3. Donnie Darko v 7. Pulp Fiction