Movie Death Match 2007 tuh 2008

18. This Is Spinal Tap over 15. Brick

I'm prejudiced to choose Spinal Tap no matter what, because I feel Christopher Guest was under-represented in this tournament. That aside, I just got real tired of looking at Joseph Gordon-Levitt's dirty jeans. And while it was pretty sweet when that kid in the wife-beater manages to book it all the way across an empty parking lot just to punch him in the face, let's face it--Brick just doesn't go to 11.

18. The Life Aquatic over 15. Things to Do In Denver When You're Dead

The notion that Denver has a rough underbelly of mob activity is just silly, almost as silly as Andy Garcia's zoot-suit riot baditude in this movie. The Life Aquatic is clearly not Wes Anderson's best, but the aw-shucks-we're-so-helplessly-esoteric vibe aside, it's the second-best boat movie about mid-mission mutiny to Crimson Tide.

12. The Deer Hunter over 21. The Constant Gardner

My love for Rachel Weisz is so great and true that, despite these both being my original rankings, I'm inclined to revise myself and just let the Gardna beat out the Hunta (as we've come to know them around the apartment). Nevertheless, consistency is some kind of virtue, and the Russian roulette scenes from the Hunt-dog (as we've also come to know it around the apartment) have such big, full cajones to suggest that it has a much better ability to go the distance with all y'all Kill-Bills and Lord-Rings than the sad death of Ralph Fiennes alone in the desert, his sweet, sweet, beauteous Rachel only a hazy mirage looking over his parched corpse.