Sunday, May 13, 2007
does round one ever end?
13. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon v 20. Life is Beautiful
life is beautiful should have been a movie about how some chinese people could fly through the air without special effects. they could walk on bamboo and have tea while they dueled with special swords. the story should have had a tiger... a tiger in a crouching position. he wants to find a dragon, but the dragon is hidden. where is that dragon? where is the tiger for that matter? is life really so beautiful? only if you cut all your hair off, save for a long braided pony-tail.
11. The Professional v 22. La Avventura
this is what some site had to say about l'avventura: "A group of rich Italians head out on a yachting trip to a deserted volcanic island in the Mediterranean. When they are about to leave the island, they find Anna, the main character up to this point, has gone missing. Sandro, Anna's boyfriend, and Claudia, Anna's friend, try without success to find her. While looking for the missing friend, Claudia and Sandro develop an attraction for each other. When they get back to land, they continue the search with no success. Sandro and Claudia proceed to become lovers, and all but forget about the missing Anna."
you know how movies sometimes suck so much balls that you can't finish them? or how movie descriptions suck so much monkey poop that you never want to start watching the movie? i feel that now.
thusly, la professional wins! not because l'avventura sounds so bad that i feel it should be in a competition for the worst movie of all time, but because friends don't forget about friends when their life is on the line. getting a little nooky isn't more important than finding a missing loved one. i mean come on! who does that. i realize scenarios in movies are given the freedom to go beyond social reasoning, but this is just too much. i feel for this missing person. i feel like this missing anna... tossed aside because someone wanted to choose high fidelty over eternal sunshine. who's in control here? who can i rely on? apparently not my friends. you've all decided to become rich italian lovers haven't you?
life is beautiful should have been a movie about how some chinese people could fly through the air without special effects. they could walk on bamboo and have tea while they dueled with special swords. the story should have had a tiger... a tiger in a crouching position. he wants to find a dragon, but the dragon is hidden. where is that dragon? where is the tiger for that matter? is life really so beautiful? only if you cut all your hair off, save for a long braided pony-tail.
11. The Professional v 22. La Avventura
this is what some site had to say about l'avventura: "A group of rich Italians head out on a yachting trip to a deserted volcanic island in the Mediterranean. When they are about to leave the island, they find Anna, the main character up to this point, has gone missing. Sandro, Anna's boyfriend, and Claudia, Anna's friend, try without success to find her. While looking for the missing friend, Claudia and Sandro develop an attraction for each other. When they get back to land, they continue the search with no success. Sandro and Claudia proceed to become lovers, and all but forget about the missing Anna."
you know how movies sometimes suck so much balls that you can't finish them? or how movie descriptions suck so much monkey poop that you never want to start watching the movie? i feel that now.
thusly, la professional wins! not because l'avventura sounds so bad that i feel it should be in a competition for the worst movie of all time, but because friends don't forget about friends when their life is on the line. getting a little nooky isn't more important than finding a missing loved one. i mean come on! who does that. i realize scenarios in movies are given the freedom to go beyond social reasoning, but this is just too much. i feel for this missing person. i feel like this missing anna... tossed aside because someone wanted to choose high fidelty over eternal sunshine. who's in control here? who can i rely on? apparently not my friends. you've all decided to become rich italian lovers haven't you?
Comments:
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I'm very confused. They find her, after she had gone missing, then they look for her with no success? So they leave the place they lost (and then found) her, to look for her somewhere else? Was Anna helping them try to find Anna? Why didn't they look to their left. Then they would have said 'oh, Anna, there you are right beside us'.
I'm expecting Round 1 to end sometime around Thanksgiving (American, not Canadian).
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I'm expecting Round 1 to end sometime around Thanksgiving (American, not Canadian).
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